I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
