I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
