there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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