ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
