please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
