Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
