i used baking grease as lip gloss
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
