And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
