Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
