U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
