O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
This baby is an asshole
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
