no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
