Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
