im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
