wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
