I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
These tits shall not be calmed
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
