May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
my being single is dangerous.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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