Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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