I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
