If that was your dad, he is hot
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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