Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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