Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize