I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
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