White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
