You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
