whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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