I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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