She's JV to your varsity
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
