no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
