Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
