I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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