Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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