You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
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