If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
