It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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