I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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