dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
