you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
not ubering you a puppy
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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