is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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