My boss' voice literally gives me gas
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Randomize
