Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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