I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Randomize
