dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
