It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
