It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
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