I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
