I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
