I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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