Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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