Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
