He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Ladies don't puke and tell
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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