You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
