I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
