Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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