Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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