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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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