I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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