Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
