For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
