Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
