I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
My feet surprised me
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
