some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
this will be a night to untag.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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