I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
