textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
