If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
don't judge my taste in strippers
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
