How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Jerry, you need to find god
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
