Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize