I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
she peed on how many people?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
