I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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