that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
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