i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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