if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
