I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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