I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Randomize
